Grandma tells 40-year-old mom she likes her 4-year-old daughter more than her 3-year-old daughter: 'She didn't see anything wrong with saying that she preferred one of them.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 2, 2025 11:00 AM EST

Even if you do prefer one grandchild over the other, you should never tell their mother that. 

None of us likes to think of ourselves as someone who would rank other people in their head. But come on, we all do it. We all have a favorite sibling with whom we like to hang out more than the others. We have best friends, friends, and acquaintances. It's okay to feel closer to one person than another, and depending on the situation, it's okay to spend more time with someone you're closer to. The situations where it's not okay to do so involve parents and children. One parent might be the one who takes their kid to their baseball games because they like it, but that doesn't mean they should never support their other kids and their passions. It doesn't matter if they like baseball better than the sports their other kids play. It doesn't matter if a parent secretly likes one kid more than the other. That's not a good excuse to ignore their other kid. Parents should be aware of their biases towards their children so that they can correct them.

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  • Happy senior grandmother with small granddaughter gardening on terrace in summer
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The grandma in this story has a favorite granddaughter for one simple reason: she is a better communicator who connects with her more. Now that she has the chance to buy her grandkids a plane ticket to their uncle's wedding, she only wants her favorite to come.

  • Am I the bad guy for not responding to my mom's texts after she said she preferred one of my daughters over another?

    Okay, here's the background. My (40F) mom (69F) recently let me know that my brother had reached out to my dad after about 10 years of no contact to invite them to his wedding.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • My mom was very excited and I was happy for her. I asked if all of us were invited and she said he was okay if I came.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • I asked my mom about the possibility of paying for a plane ticket for me and maybe one of my daughters to go the the wedding. She responded back that she could pay for me and April(4F).
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • I thought it was weird that she specified April when I had just said one of the girls. So I called her and asked her about that response. She said that she wanted April to come because April likes to talk to my mom on the phone and she's so cute.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • I said we had decided that if she was okay with paying for one of the girls, that we wanted Bella(3) to come because she's never been on an airplane before.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • My mom responded that she preferred April to come. I told her that it wasn't okay to say anything like that, especially because my daughters might hear it.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • She didn't see anything wrong with saying that she preferred one of them. I reminded her of how upset she would get when my ex-SIL would consistently bring one of her kids on trips to see family and not her other kid.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • Woman and child walking on the shore
    via p -

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I emphasized again that she's not to say anything like that around my kids. We hung up with me saying that I'll let her know what I decide about the trip.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • When I called her a few days later, I said that the girls were going to stay with my husband while I go. She asked me if everything was okay.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • I told her no, I'm still upset by what she said. Her response was that she's upset that I basically called her a hypocrite. I hadn't thought of it that way, but said yeah, that does seem hypocritical.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • She responded with- can I really blame her if she's more partial to April instead of Bella. I said yeah, maybe she should put more effort into getting to know Bella since she's younger and doesn't communicate as well.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • Little girl in a black dress leaning on the window sill
    via David Todd McCarty

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She told me I was making too big a deal out of this. I hung up on her because growing up I'd always been told I was too sensitive or overreacting. I just didn't want to talk anymore to someone who can not accept that how I feel is something to be discussed instead of dismissed.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • I messaged her that I'm not going to the wedding. A few weeks went by without any communication. Then she started messaging me as if nothing had happened.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • I didn't respond because I wasn't interested in pretending like everything was fine. She sent me a message yesterday saying she loves all my girls and to stop ignoring her.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • She still doesn't seem willing to talk about the fact that she said she was partial and preferred one of my kids over the others, as well as feeling like I need to address that I'm not okay with her telling me I overreact.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • AITAH for not responding back to my mom's messages? Edit: My brother's wedding was more of a wedding celebration as they were officially married in May. He said that any of the family (including kids) were welcome as long as we RSVP'd within a few days.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • Edit 2: Thank you all for your responses. There's a few things I can clarify for everyone. My oldest got to go visit family when she was 1, the family came to visit us when my middle child was 1 and 2, and then I just took my youngest to visit family because the event was last
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • minute, we had to scrape together money for my ticket and she was free. Since my middle child, Bella, hadn't had the chance to go on a trip, that is why I planned to take her.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • Yes, my mom can absolutely do what she wants with her money. We had a series of financial things happen this year which made it that I couldn't afford to pay for my own ticket, much less any of my daughters. I reached out to my mom to feel out the situation and see if she would be okay with paying. She has the right to do
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • what she wants with her money which is why I didn't get tickets from her. And I have the right to protect my daughters from favoritism. My family is absolutely terrible at communication. I had messaged my brother to congratulate him and see if he was okay with me
    via u/Mommy_Drama47
  • and daughter coming. He has never messaged back, but talked with my mom later that day and said that it was fine. That is how my family communicates. He never answered me back directly which told me that he probably didn't care about the rest of the family and it would probably be better for just my parents to go anyway.
    via u/Mommy_Drama47

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family drama mother raising daughters grandma gift granddaughter plane daughters favoritism wedding favorite family trip daughter grandmother mom airplane
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